So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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