Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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