i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
