the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
