I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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