Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize