Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
so much tequila, so little girl.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
