I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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