Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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