sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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