So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
