He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
