But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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