It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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