I'm jealous of your bromance
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize