No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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