the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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