Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
