have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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