ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
