ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I love you. Go after that dick
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
