sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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