i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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