We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Actions speak louder than pants.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
