you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just pee around me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
