I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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