You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Farmville is her only friend.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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