Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
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When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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