The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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