I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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