I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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