I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
