is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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