a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
