Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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