I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
