Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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