the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i think i have herpe
just one?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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