I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
