It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
