I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize