what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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