I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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