Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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