Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
