Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
