Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
