So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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