I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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