OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
