Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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