He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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