Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
