marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
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I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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