Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
