When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize