I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
