just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
