haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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