I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
