yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
