and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
