Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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