like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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