doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
